What to SAY When the Emotions Come
A quick guide (and VIDEO!) with examples for when you feel the big feels.
Today! How-to! We’re leaping from last week’s emotions in public post to this week’s OK COOL COOL BUT WHAT DO I ACTUALLY DO WHEN I GET EMOTIONAL IN FRONT OF PEOPLE, for juicy practicals and applicable answers.
‘Cuz the comments I got last week reminded me that:
It’s one thing to say yes to the whole high-minded love-on-your-emotions game.
It’s quite another to do it in real time with confidence when you’re mid-messy.
That’s when the age-old shame/embarrassment story may start screaming at you from inside the house—shortchanging your best intentions and stealing the personal power you’ve been heretofore conjuring.
AND even if you are full-body okay with getting feely in front of others, there’s still a comfort gap to contend with: what do you say in the moment to acknowledge your big feels if the other person/people look uncomfortable ‘cuz they’ve got their own stories about emotions and they’re not yet members of HOW TO SHOW UP?
Listen, we don’t always have to manage other people’s comfort (HI, boundaries!) but for many of us—myself included—facilitating those messy moments feels like flexing a kind of power, and one worth exploring. If we name what’s happening in the moment and help folks frame it is, that’s love and leadership right where we are.
As this reader suggests, some well-placed words help to make it super duper clear you’re changing the story and they can too.
But which words?
When the screams are screaming, we can’t always trust the right words will appear.
Which is when scripts come in real handy. Jeuje the wording below to make it more you, of course—hello have you met me?—but memorize something so when you feel a wonky moment approaching, you can assure yourself you’re ready. (I think relying on a few gentle scripts is a glorious, under-discussed form of self-care. Like a trust fall where you’re catching you.)
Scripts!
I put ‘em in a video for you, below.
AND if you want to talk out your own particular sticky bits when it comes to showing up with your emotions intact, our next community Q&A is March 8th at 10am PT for an hour. That’s THIS FRIDAY. Zoom details are included below.
I’m not afraid of my feelings or yours, my love. Upgrade to join ❤️
Keep reading with a 7-day free trial
Subscribe to HOW TO SHOW UP with Samara Bay to keep reading this post and get 7 days of free access to the full post archives.