Strength, Warmth, Kamala, and You

The most powerful energy mashup secretly propelling our lives

Never be so kind, you forget to be clever
Never be so clever, you forget to be kind

As T. Swift (or her grandma) suggests: the dance between strength and warmth may well be the most powerful energy mashup secretly propelling each of our lives.

Do you come across as both strong (I’ve got this) and warm (I’ve got you)?

Lordy knows, if you come across too much one or the other, you likely get dismissed (“oh my god, she’s just SO sweet”) or accused of being a big ol’ B. This is infamously tough for women in business or women in leadership at «ehem» the highest levels.

Never be so polite, you forget your power
Never wield such power, you forget to be polite

I wrote a whole chapter about the strength/warmth balance in my book, because it is the biggest factor determining TONE — how we seem when we talk — and tone often determines what comes next, NOT the words we use.

Or at least not ONLY the words… words + tone = the whole message.

Which I’m thinking about today re: the possibility of our first Madam President… and reminiscing (har har) about the trail of shitty comments in VP Harris’s wake, many of which exist because people perceive her strength/warmth balance to be off.

So the timing of my friend Alison Fragale’s book is UH-MAZING.

Out just after Labor Day, she takes on the strength/warmth balance in the title itself:

As she says, her book is about THE SCIENCE OF STATUS AND POWER.

I MEAN HOLD FOR A MO OVER HOW HOT THAT IS.

SOOOO, Alison and I decided to hop on a Zoom hang to interview each other and I’m sharing it with you now ‘cuz it it’s DRIPPING with insights. And PS and not at all beside the point, how frickin’ fun to find another woman doing something similar to what you’re up to and then celebrating the crapola out of her??

BONUS: around min 45 she very vulnerably asks me for advice on the parts of public speaking that she (A PROFESSIONAL SPEAKER AND AWARD-WINNING PROFESSOR) still struggles with — which I’m highlighting to

• Normalize that we ALL have more layers of the onion to peel and here’s to growth mindset and lifelong learning babyyyy

AND

• ‘Cuz how I coach her may help you.

REMINDER: if YOU want coaching from me, buy your ticket to Hot Permission Fall this week (the price doubles Sunday at midnight so get in there) and join the book club that meets the moment. For 10 weeks we are doing a THING this fall, holding each other through the madness via Zoom dates that bring the heat. Loving hard and getting heard. The energy around it has been wild!!

Preorder Alison’s book.

And sign up for Hot Permission Fall before it doubles in price and you regret it and you’re like OH F.

Why am I doubling the price after the first week?

Well, frankly ‘cuz I want to sell it out the first week and this feels full mischief. You and I both know you will love it, and the question is will you invest in you? And if you physically can’t, please don’t. But if you’re just feeling big feelings because it’s deeply scary to take yourself seriously hello, the work has already begun.

I’m here for you.

Like the likeable badass I am.

:) SB

PS. If you identify as a white woman and want to be on a Kamala call, follow me on IG. I’ll be posting the link when it’s available, but SAVE THE TIME/DATE:

Thursday, July 25th (tomorrow) virtual meeting, 8:30p ET/5:30p PT.

During the 44,000-women call Sunday night the message was clear: “white women, it’s your turn to show up.”

I’m here for showing up, as you might have gathered.